Divine karate

Zoe: What is god ?
Dad: He is the creator and maker of all things
Zoe:So he’s a painter?
Dad: Yes I suppose you could think about it that way
Zoe: Can he do karate ?
Dad: Um yes if he wanted to …
Zoe: Whoa!

Dangerous Mooses

Zoe: Once upon a time there was a mouse who got stuck in the mud. Another mouse came along and helped him out. But there was a dangerous moose watching them and when they got out of the mud he chased them and caught them and ate them up. The end.

Mommy: Wow! So what’s the moral of the story? Don’t get stuck in the mud?

Zoe: No, it’s be fast. Because the mice were really slow.

 

That’s my brain

Me: So, do you guys know why Mommy needs help with story telling today?

John: No….

Zoe: Because you are tired and need more coffee.

Me: Good observation Zoe!

Zoe: I didn’t know it but my brain did and so my brain told you the right answer.

Me: It’s generally a good thing to let your brain do the talking.

Zoe: Yeah, it does that all the time.

Zoe Professional

Aliens, eh?

Zoe: Mommy, I had a dream last night and aliens came and cut the earth in pieces and the ground shook and all the people, cars, and animals fell off the earth and died.
Mommy; Holy sm… I mean wow, um how did that make you feel.
Zoe: Well actually I was the alien and I was trying to hug the whole earth but instead I cut it in pieces. Accidentally.
Mommy: Wow. Well um….
Zoe: And there was a dinosaur alien that taunted me because he had chocolate and wouldn’t give me any . And wanted to keep it all to himself because he was jealous.
Mommy: Jealous? Do you mean selfish?
Zoe: Yeah! Selfish! And it made all the people and the cars and the animals sad and cry even though they were in heaven with God because he wouldn’t give anyone any chocolate ever!
Mommy: Sooo all the dead people were sad?
Zoe: Yeah because they were back on the glued together earth.
Mommy: Wow – how did the earth get glued back together ?
Zoe : God glued the earth back together after I broke it and put everyone back on so they could live there forever.

Prettier than fairies

Zoe: Fairies are so pretty. They’re prettier than zebras. They’re prettier than baby penguins!
Me: Wow, that’s um, very pretty.
Zoe: Yeah. But they’re not prettier than baby flamingos. Baby flamingos are MUCH prettier than fairies. Mommy flamingos too.

Full of whys

Zoe: mommy why did you pick us up before Andrews dad picked him up ?
Mommy: that question doesn’t make sense – ask me a different way.
Zoe: I can’t! I only have whys in my brain right now!