Zoe: William and I decided there is a whatchamacallit so you better be careful!
Me: Oh no what does it look like?
Zoe: It’s huge! And purple and covered in greeeeeeen slime. And it hugs you so hard that you can’t breathe then eats you with its serious tusks. So you better watch out!
Zoe: Mommy, sometimes I wish you could turn me into a spider so I could always be there when you need help with something. Like if you were in trouble you could take me out and I would turn normal and then I would take care of all the bad guys kapok!
It’s important to make sure your kids are presentable when they walk out the door. Of course, presentable means different things to different people. I go by the “meh, they’re kids” school of thought and pretty much let them wear whatever they want. This has, in turn, led to some rather…unique…outfits (tutu, jeans, spiderman sneakers and a tshirt?) but heck, they’re kids. We do, however, find it useful to have some very basic rules:
- If it’s tight on the top, make it loose on the bottom.
- If it’s tight on the bottom, make it loose on the top.
- Never wear tight tops and bottoms together. It makes you look like “people of Walmart“
Come to think of it, that’s probably a pretty good set of rules for adults too…
We had a bout of illness in the house, so I needed to get all the door knobs and cabinet handles wiped down. Being incredibly lazy, I decided this was a perfect job for the kids. I handed each of them an antibacterial wipe and told them:
“We’ve been invaded by really tiny monsters! They are hiding out on the door knobs and cabinet handles all over the house – some might even be on toilet handles and things like that. I need your help to hunt them all down and kill them with these magic cloths.”
15 minutes later they reported a complete rout and slaughter of all door handle monsters and their allies. Long live the alliance!