Wombat Snakes are Dangerous (or the origin of Zombies)

JJ: Mommy, you need to be careful of the WOMBAT SNAKES!

Mommy: What are those?

JJ: They are DANGEROUS snakes that bite you then zip open your head and take your BRAINS!

Mommy: Oh my!

JJ: Yeah, and they go back to their babies and feed them the brains. Because that’s all they can eat. Brains.

Mommy: Yikes!

JJ: And sometimes they forget to zip up the people’s heads again. And that kind of hurts a little bit so the people have to go to the doctor to get their heads sewn up again.

Mommy: Without brains?

JJ: Yeah. Then the people are zombies like on your T-shirt. Looking for brains. Because the wombat snake took theirs.

Mommy: Where do the wombat snakes live?

JJ: Australia! They are part of the DEADLY DOZEN.

Mommy: Whew! I was worried there for a minute.

JJ:<slight pause as he looks around> AND PlanoTexas AND HoustonTexas! <adopts look of appropriate look of dramatic scariness>

Mommy: Oh NO! We’ll have to move!

JJ: <rethinking his comment> Well…the ones in Plano and Houston are NICE wombat snakes. They don’t eat brains, just the food that people bring them.

Mommy: How can you tell the difference between a bad wombat snake and a good wombat snake?

JJ: The bad baby wombat snakes all look MAD. But they’re not, they just have angry eyebrows. And the daddy wombat snake has angry eyebrows. And the mommy wombat snake has angry eyebrows. But they’re not really angry, they’re just bad. You can tell because they don’t have a happy face.


  1. Hee made my morning ..

    This was actually supposed to be commented on prior to the comment I made on “saving dinosaurs”.. and I wont explain why it isn’t because it’s scary considering what I do for a living. Good thing it’s Friday.

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