Zoe: I don’t like butterflies – they are not cute.
Mommy: They’re not?
Zoe: No. They land on me and I say “Go away butterfly!” and they sting me a little.
Mommy: Butterflies don’t sting.
Zoe: Do they hug?
JJ: How do they hug?
Mommy: Well… They hug you with their little legs then they stick their little tongues out and kiss you.
JJ: You mean they use their proboscis?
Mommy: Um, yeah that’s what I meant.
JJ: This is a bat-wah* – be careful he’s a little bit bad
Zoe: And a little bit sad?
JJ: No he’s a little bit happy
Zoe: Is he a good bat-wah?
JJ: No he’s a bad bat-wah so you should be careful or he might bite you.
*bat-wah – a part wombat part bat part bird creature that JJ made up. Usually characterized as an excellent family pet, the bat-wah is usually grey (although occasionally blue or pink), furred, able to fly, and very fond of apple slices and pancakes.
Zoe: No Paka (our cat)!
Mommy: What did Paka do?
Zoe: She’s bad.
Mommy: Paka’s not bad!
Zoe: I want her to be bad so she will fight and then I will fight her!
Zoe: I had kind of a hard day.
Mommy: I’m sorry to hear that. Do you want to talk about it?
Zoe: I got in trouble. The end.
Zoe drew a picture of my behavior:
For explanation she pointed to various parts and said:
This is good. This is bad. This is happy. This is smiley. It looks like your bad behavior is about 22 hours.
On seeing a man talking on a cellphone outside of work:
Zoe: Who is that man?
Mommy: I don’t know
Zoe Can I ask him his name?
Mommy, continuing to drive: Um… Not right now. If we see him again and he’s not on the phone we can…
Zoe, interrupting: He’s probably having a ‘steerium.
Mommy: A ‘steerium?!
Zoe: Yeah. That means hands that clap and feet that stomp. I clap my hands and stomp my feet.
Mommy: So… A ‘steerium is clapping hands and stomping feet?
Monmy: Do you have a ‘steerium at school?
Zoe, aghast: No!
Mommy: Well, where did you have a ‘steerium?
Zoe: In the grass. Somedays.
Zoe, referring to the salt and pepper on her salmon:
Mommy can I have a piece with no sparkles?
Talking about his cousin Charles who is in his 20’s:
I like him. He’s a grown up kid.
Zoe, on seeing herself smile in the mirror:
Whoa! I gots a lot of teeth!
JJ talking to his Daddy after bedtime prayers:
Daddy, when will I get the Holy Spirit in me and see a flame on my head?